fic: A Handful of Rain Masterpost

[riyku]

Title: A Handful of Rain
Genre: J2 AU
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~33,000
Disclaimer: I think we all know this isn't how it happened.
Warnings: Substance abuse, strong language, and heed the rating.

Summary: Life on the streets had taught Jensen that everything came with a price. Family was a word that meant the people who kicked you out, religion was nothing more than a free meal, and salvation something that he could buy for ten bucks a hit down on the bad side of town. Scoring had become his full-time job, and finding a safe place to sleep was what he did in his time off. It was only a matter of time until this life caught up with him. Now, strung out and with no where else to go, Jensen finds himself following his feet to a place he never thought he would go--to the home of a stranger who can unfailingly see past Jensen's mistakes, and who can see right through to the good that is still left within him. The challenge is getting Jensen to see it as well.

Link to zaipixie 's beautiful art: here.  So much love!

Part One  ::  Part Two  ::  Part Three  ::  Part Four  ::  Epilogue

Notes, pdf , and Music


 

Comments

[audelise.livejournal.com]

I want to write you a long, long letter thanking you for this, but I will try to keep it brief. I recently got out of nearly a decade long relationship with an on and off recovering coke/heroin addict. It was obvious you have some first hand experience with what addiction is about and this really hit home for me. It was cathartic...lots of tears and chills throughout so many parts of this. I have a notebook with quotes from stories that hit me hard, and I filled up pages of them with this. Your description of the overdosing, the withdrawals, the inner dialogue detailing the all consuming illogical obsession...it was perfect.

I was first a little frustrated about the relationship starting so soon, because that is highly frowned upon (and honestly used too often as an escape, a transfer of addiction). But it happens...a lot, and sometimes it works. In this case, I cannot thank you enough for showing that relapse is common - no matter how well someone seems to be doing for weeks or months or even years. That for no reason at all the itch starts up and without even thinking, the addict goes into their "junkie-logic" and falls right back down. That a relationship isn't a cure-all and the choice/growth has to happen inside the addict. Thank you for not giving this a happily ever after, but rather, a hope for the future. The story opened with Jensen dying, and closed with him choosing to live - even if it's hard, even if the want won't ever go away completely.

I have so much to say about this piece and it's really been an emotional roller coaster...a necessary one. Besides the topic, your writing in general grabs me by the wrist and weaves me through such incredible twists and turns. Your words come to life, are a palpable thing, and evoke such strong emotions. Thank you, thank you, thank you.